Captain Regulation Explains It All

Ann Marie Buerkle: Hi, Captain Regulation, thank you so much for stopping by.

Captain Regulation: You are welcome. How can I help you?

AMB: Well, you know I am against government regulations. In fact, I tell my constituents every chance I get that every new government regulation chips away at their freedom.

CR: Well, Congresswoman, I guess it would be true to say some regulations limit your freedom. For instance, a few years back Congress passed a lot of anti-terrorism laws and those regulations do substantially limit some freedoms.

AMB: That's not what I meant. I'm all in favor of anti-terrorism regulations, I'm against

business regulations.

CR: OK, I see. Well, almost all business people actually want the government to help regulate commerce to promote fairness and stop unscrupulous business deals.

AMB: Well, OK, that's alright, too. What I'm against is regulations that make it harder for small businesses to make a profit.

CR: OK, I think I'm beginning to see what you mean. I'm afraid I can't really help you out much, though. There's no doubt that some well-meant rules are out of date and do need to be revised, but it's not really possible to just be against government regulation.

You see, regulations are the only way to make laws real. They're the way the government explains in detail what laws mean, and exactly how they will be enforced. Laws are totally hollow without regulations.

AMB: Look, I am absolutely certain that business people want to reduce regulations in order to build their businesses. It's a major part of all my speeches. My business owner friends always clap when I say that.

CR: Well your friends may be clapping, but a poll published this week found that what business people really want, way ahead of less regulations, is more business. They want customers. With cash. Cash earned by working. Working at jobs in this country. Now.

AMB: Darn, and here I thought you would help me. This meeting is over.